Addiction
The roots of addiction and creating space for change. I believe most or all addictive behaviours such as compulsive disorders, obsessive use of social media, phone scrolling, drugs, alcohol, smoking, eating disorders, anger, arguing, excessive sexual acting out, high levels of stress, anxiety - the list goes on - are all linked to trauma, shame or multiple types of abuse. We look for something outside of ourselves to soothe or dissociate in multiple ways.
As Gabor Maté says, addiction is a response to human suffering. It stems from not getting our needs met as children or being physically or emotionally abandoned or neglected. This creates an emotional blueprint as a child which fuels our emotional responses as adults. Our brain has been taught to look for soothing and comfort outside of ourselves - be it a substance, other people or a behaviour. Trying to ground the subconscious mind through repetition compulsion is quite often rooted in things we don’t understand about ourselves. We are ultimately seeking a hit of dopamine to change how we feel.
It’s important to note that our feelings are in our bodies, not in our heads. When we are stressed or anxious, every part of our body is contracted. It’s not that you just feel stressed, irritable or anxious as a mental state, it’s not just that your thinking is contracted - it’s that every part of your body has been activated to operate in a hormonal flow that is conducive to being stressed and anxious.
Overwhelmed by life, social obligations, work, lists of things to do - feeling the pull to reach out for something to change how we feel can be extremely strong and we will do anything to release a bit of dopamine to help us feel better. Shame in particular powers addiction and is one of the deepest of our negative emotions, an unbearable feeling we will do almost anything to avoid.
After working through my own experiences of many negative addictive behaviours, I now have positive tools to combat negative thoughts and unwanted feelings in my physical and emotional body. Two of the most powerful for me are using the breath and stretching the body through yoga. These are two ways that we can grow our capacities to manage and relax our own central nervous system - brains that are constantly stressed do not work as effectively as they could or should.
We can learn how to release our anxiety and difficult feelings without reaching outside of ourselves for something to soothe.
As I mentioned before, our feelings are not in our heads but in our bodies. We have autonomy over our bodies and can work with the tools of breath and yoga to change our physical and emotional state. Our brains have the incredible ability to rewire themselves (neuroplasticity); we can heal from addictive behaviours and create real change.
